


speak my name

by LtTanyaBoone



Category: X Company (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: (Fix-it fic for S03E07 The Hunt) "With a shake of her head, she straightens and pulls away. Alfred’s hands fall away from around her. He stops, watches her intently."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Basically how I would have wanted S02E07 to end, instead of the Scene of Doom.

She stumbles from the camp, palms sweating, hands shaking as she tries to draw a breath, tries to get air into her lungs.

When a hand wraps around her wrist, she lets out a surprised scream and lashes out, only to find another grabbing her arm. Tucking it between her and her assailant, keeping it immobilized, taking away her chance of defending herself-

“It’s me.”

Alfred’s voice makes her let out a relieved sob and she moves her arms between them. He lets go and she takes a stumbling step away from him, bringing up her hands to shove at his chest.

“Tu das nie wieder,” she breathes, clenches her eyes shut and presses the heels of her hands against them so hard it makes her see stars. It takes her a few moments to catch her breath, and when she straightens, she finds him standing there, simply staring at her.

“What?” she asks him, feeling almost self-conscious. “This is what happens when you sneak up on another agent-”

“It makes them speak German?” Alfred asks, and she feels her face fall. Feels her heart drop. Scheiße.

Aurora shakes her head, takes a deep breath. It’s been a long, long day. Her thoughts are all messed up, jumbled together.

“It’s, been a long day,” she tells him weakly. Looks away, ashamed and disgusted.

“You’re dreaming in German, too,” Alfred points out and takes a step closer. She looks at him, raises a hand slightly and takes a step back, the warning hanging between them. It’s not that she doesn’t want him close. She does, wants him as close as possible. Wants his arms around her, his lips on hers, his voice in her ear promising he’ll never let her go.

But she can’t. She’s the sergeant of this team, she has to be the one to do the protecting, the one who does the comforting and empty promises of a world that is going to be better than is, when the war is over.

And more than that, she cannot let Alfred touch her again. Not like this, not, not when she is like this. Not after what she has done. She can’t talk to him, because he’ll know. He can taste the lies on her tongue and he doesn’t have to kiss her to know them. There is so much she cannot tell him, cannot ever reveal to him, and so many things she keeps lying about, to protect him, to protect herself, and she’s starting to lose herself in it.

“Talk to me,” Alfred pleads and she shakes her head. Shifts, uneasily, feels her heels sink into the forest floor. She has to clean them, before she walks into town again. It might lead to someone figuring out where she goes if she doesn’t.

“Aurora-”

“Stop,” she breathes and closes her eyes, her fingers curling into tight fists. She can’t do this. She cannot stand here, with him, with Alfred so close, and hear him say her name. She knows what it means to him, simply to say it; she cannot let him do that, cannot allow him to say that word-

“Aurora,” he repeats and steps close. His hands come up and touch her upper arms. She flinches, pulls away. And finds one of his hands take hers instead. Feels his fingertips ghost over the skin on the back of her left hand, gently, before he takes it. Lifts it up carefully before he wraps both hands around it gently. Holds it up between them, holds onto it.

“Aurora.”

She takes a shuddering breath, lets the air out with a tremble. Does it again, and again. Feels her heart stutter and stumble in her chest, feels the walls she’s been hurriedly building around herself being chipped away at, slowly, carefully. Precision work. If anyone confronted him, she’s pretty sure Alfred would tell them he had no idea what he was doing. It doesn’t matter that he’s acting on an instinct. It works.

“I, I can’t,” she breathes as the tears well up behind her closed eyes. Blinks them open to find him so incredibly close they flutter shut again. Leans forward just a little, enough to have her forehead brush against his nose. Alfred ducks his head and she feels the pressure of his head coming to rest against hers. Feels herself shudder in reaction to the intimate gesture.

“It’s okay,” Alfred mumbles, his voice thick. “Please don’t, shut us out. Again,” he adds and she feels his hold tighten. “I don’t want you to, battle this, on your own.”

A sob escapes her and she folds in on herself. Feel Alfred wrap his arms around her and keep her up, keep her standing as he holds her against him.

She has to. Battle this, on her own. Not just because she’s the one with the German cover, she’s the one working at the office. She’s the only one that is watching her own people get butchered. There is no one else on the team who can share that sort of burden with her, even if she hadn’t just become a murderer and killed one of her own.

“Say my name,” she breathes as she tries to push these feelings down. Forces her eyes open, forces herself to look at Alfred. Sees the look of surprise on his face, sees the brief smile ghost over it.

“Aurora,” he answers, his voice steady. She closes her eyes again, allows his voice to wash over her. “Again?” he asks and she gives a curt nod. And Alfred repeats her name, says it over and over again. Without hesitation, his voice soft but unwavering. Aurora, again and again, her name filling the air, the space around them.

She pulls back a little and he loosens his hold on her. She reaches up, places her hands on his chest. Feels it moves as he breathes. Inhales slowly, and feels her lips move. It takes her a moment to realize she formed her own name, only does so when Alfred says it again and she feels the movement of her lips match the sounds that come from him.

With a shake of her head, she straightens and pulls away. Alfred’s hands fall away from around her. He stops, watches her intently. Aurora inhales, slowly, lets the air out again in a measured exhale.

“Thank you,” she mutters, unable to look at him just then. Alfred’s feet shift on the forest ground, shuffle a little in her direction, but he stops himself.

“Anytime,” he finally replies. It makes her look up at him again, wondering how on earth he does it. The things he’s seen today, the brief recount he gave her, she knows how bad they are, for someone with his memory. How come he has the strength to do this? To spent his time not stitching himself back together, but instead help her to not fall apart completely?

“I, have to," she mutters and gestures down the path, in the direction of the sleeping town. Alfred’s eyes follow her hand and he nods shortly, his hands being shoved into the pockets of his pants. He takes a step back, inclines his head. She watches, for a beat, before she turns and starts walking again.

She feels his eyes on her back until the path curves and breaks his line-of-sight.

fin.


End file.
